


Alternate Universes Table: Me and Clara Oswald

by merryghoul



Series: Doctor Who Short Fics and Drabbles [19]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, Alternate Universe - Music, Alternate Universe - Mythology, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - Noir, Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Alternate Universe - Prison, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Space, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Alternate Universe - Sports, Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Alternate Universe - Western, Community: dw100, Community: femslash100, Community: femslashficlets, Community: fic_promptly, F/F, Space Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 00:44:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 4,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5723179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merryghoul/pseuds/merryghoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thirty alternate universe drabbles for femslash100.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ComicCon

**Author's Note:**

> Ratings for drabbles and links to other community fills will be indicated in chapter notes.
> 
> Drabbles done for dw100: #1, #2, #6, #25
> 
> Drabbles and ficlets done for Fic Promptly: #4, #5, #7, #8, #9, #11, #12, #13, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30
> 
> Drabbles and ficlets done for Femslash Ficlets: #3, #10, #14, #15
> 
> Most of the "Ashildr" references were changed to "Me" (or to something else, as noted) on August 1, 2016.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actors AU: Clara and Me at San Diego ComicCon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
>  
> 
> [For dw100, prompt #440, convention.](http://dw100.livejournal.com/799243.html#cutid2)

The diner was at San Diego ComicCon, but it was a prop for the new show Oswald and Ashildr, starring Clara and Me. The show would air in the fall on BBCAmerica, slotted after Doctor Who. Clara and Me were in the diner to take pictures and sign autographs with fans.

The press junket was tiring. Me rolled her eyes while signing autographs while Clara's feet fidgeted.

Then the person in charge of the fan event in the diner "closed" the diner for lunch.

That was when Clara grabbed Me's hand.

The diner left ComicCon for time and space again.


	2. New Dalek Paradigm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dystopia AU: Clara and Me in post-Dalek London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> Inspired by the video game _The Eternity Clock._
> 
>  
> 
> [For dw100, First Doctor Titles (prompt: "The Dalek Invasion of Earth").](http://dw100.livejournal.com/799243.html#cutid1)

London, 2106. The New Dalek Paradigm destroyed the city, leaving it in ruins, with hardly any sign of life. They put a time lock around the city so they could patrol the lifeless ruins alone.

But the Daleks were not alone. The Snacks and Gas Diner was there, unable to find a way to break through the Time Lock or even send a signal they were there. But Clara and Me couldn't chance it. At best, if they could, they'd get River Song's attention. At worst, the Doctor's.

They held their hands in the diner proper, looking at the Daleks.


	3. Guard Dog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BDSM AU: Me guards the TARDIS while Clara is away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> Written in present tense.
> 
>  
> 
> [For a Femslash Ficlets remainder week, prompt was "alternative universes."](http://femslashficlets.dreamwidth.org/56508.html)

Me waits in the diner while she waits for Clara to do some errands. Me's guarding their TARDIS, to make sure no one steals it for their own means. And to make it clear, she's wearing her collar. When a sub is on duty inside the TARDIS, they have to wear their collar, so that dominants and others know they're a part of that TARDIS' crew. 

Missy is that type of person who would steal a TARDIS for her own means. She walks into the diner and is confronted with Me holding a blaster in the direction of Missy's hearts. 

"This TARDIS is protected," Me says. "Go away, Missy." 

Missy stands where she is and grins. 

"Go away, Missy." 

Missy shrugs. "Go ahead and kill me. I'll find some way to come back alive. I always do." 

Clara runs into the TARDIS. She lowers the blaster aimed at Missy's hearts. "No, Me, don't kill Missy." 

Me puts down the blaster. Missy's grin is even wider. 

"Missy's the only person we know who can help us out with this time loop on Jescoitov. We're going to let her travel in the TARDIS for a while." 

Me sighs. 

Clara leans into Me's ear. "She's right, you know," Clara whispers. "It's impossible to attempt to kill her. She always seems to find a way to come back to life." 

"I know." 

"Once we're done with this time loop on Jescoitov, _then_ you can try and kill her." 

Me grins, enough to confuse Missy.


	4. Planet of the Coffee Shops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee Shop AU: Clara and Me as baristas on the Planet of the Coffee Shops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
>  
> 
> [For Fic Promptly, prompt was "any, any, coffee shop au."](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/228898.html?thread=9287202#cmt9287202)

Sometimes on the Planet of the Coffee Shops a TARDIS, stuck in the form of a diner, appears between the Intergalactic Coffee Roasting Station Shop and Starbucks. The diner's specialty is coffee from various places and times on Earth. Clara takes orders as the booths and the counter fill up with visitors, and Me makes the hot drinks. 

Clara and Me have a spy to look out for the Doctor. If the Doctor was around, Me would pull a fake fire alarm to clear out the diner. When the patrons were gone, Clara and Me would run for their TARDIS console.


	5. Three Professors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College professors AU: AU version of River Song meets Clara, Me, and their diner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
>  
> 
> [For this prompt at Fic Promptly: "Any, any, "Life is, to some extent, an extended dialogue with your future self about how exactly you are going to let yourself down over the coming years." (How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe: A Novel, p 111)"](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/107267.html?thread=5040643#cmt5040643)
> 
>  
> 
> (This ficlet inspired ["Doctor Melody Williams."](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5641249))

The hottest new class at Columbia University was "The History of the American Diner," a class in a diner situated near the south end of Central Park. The diner was a few blocks south of the campus, but students said it was worth the trip. 

Doctor Melody Williams, a professor at Columbia, ventured to the diner during a break between her classes. 

The professors, Clara and Me, were cleaning up in their diner when Melody knocked on the door. "This is Doctor Melody Williams from the archaeology department. May I come in?" 

Clara nodded. "Sure." 

Melody sat at one of the booths. "This class must be everything you've ever wanted." 

Me smiled at Clara. "We wouldn't have it any other way." 

Melody sighed. "Sometimes I dream I'm a doctor of archaeology--not at Columbia, but at a university called Luna University. When I'm not there, I travel the galaxy transporting things and solving mysteries. Then I wake up and wonder why I'm here. I feel I've let myself down, like there's something I'm missing in my life." 

"Maybe there is a life where you do all those things, Melody," Clara said. "Doesn't make your real life disappointing. You're a doctor. Most people want to be like you. So you keep doing what you're doing in the archaeology department, Doctor Williams. You make your parents proud." 

"My parents are dead...Clara, right? Your name is Clara." 

Clara nodded, a stunned look on her face. 

Me laughed. "This happens all the time."


	6. Godfather Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fairy tale AU: Me's godfather is Death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For dw100, prompt #116, fairy tales](http://dw100.livejournal.com/799856.html) (based on the story of [Godfather Death](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godfather_Death)).

Me's godfather was Death. Death told her whether she was to save someone or let them die. 

Clara was already dead. But Death wanted Clara's death to be final. As Clara was laying down in their TARDIS, he gave Me the sign to return Clara to her death--standing at the foot of her resting place. 

Me wasn't ready to return Clara to her death. So Me tricked Death. She chased Death around Clara's resting place. When Death stopped, he stood behind Clara's head--the sign for Death to leave someone alone. 

Death wanted revenge, but he couldn't kill Me, either.


	7. The Two at the End of the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fantasy AU: Clara as a woman who can duplicate herself at will, alone until she meets the woman at the end of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "Any, Any, 'Once upon a time...'"](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/130304.html?thread=6090240#cmt6090240)

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Clara. She had the ability to multiply herself at will, able to go through space and time without leaving Hackney. Her multiples saw many things: the birth of the universe, the birth of mankind, the end of humanity. But even with her multiples, Clara was still lonely. 

Clara found many lovers, male and female, with her multiples. But she was still lonely. Her lovers refused to come with her, or they somehow disagreed with her lifestyle. None of them were a perfect match for her. That is, until she met the one woman who survived the end of the world. 

At the same time one of Clara's selves found the woman, a woman who had lost her name after many years of life, at the end of the world, another one of the selves found a TARDIS. Because of Clara's interactions with the Doctor, the Master, and other Time Lords, she knew what a TARDIS was. 

The woman at the end of the world mourned its ending, and expressed sadness at not being able to get off Earth before its death. The Doctor had denied her this wish, after cursing her with the gifts of immortality and immunity. 

Clara explained to the woman her special abilities. She also mentioned she just stole a time machine, and the two of them could leave Earth for other places in other galaxies. 

The nameless woman ran off with Clara to see new worlds together.


	8. An American Diner in Wales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack Harkness finds a group of ghosts in Wales.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> Written in present tense.
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "Any, any, ghosts are people too."](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/399851.html?thread=13042411#cmt13042411)

A newsreel starts with the British MovieTone News title card before moving on to a segment called AN AMERICAN DINER IN WALES! 

The newsreel shows an urban area in Wales in the 1960s. One woman is in a blue dress and white apron, taking orders from people sitting at booths. The other woman is at the diner's register. 

Midway through the film, the people in the newsreel disappear. The camera films as if there were still people in the diner. 

The reel ends with the MovieTone "THE END" title card. 

"Maybe they're not Night Walkers," Jack says when it's over. 

 

Jack finds the missing people on the reel. It turns out all of them escaped the reel and wandered to Penllergare, a wooded area in Swansea. Much to Jack's relief, these people aren't like the Night Walkers. 

All of the people in the reel are lovers. Some of them couldn't display their affections toward each other because of the social mores of the time. But they're all openly displaying their love in Penllergare. Some people are walking in the woods. Others are under the woods' waterfall. The two girls running the diner are on top of that very waterfall, their hands entwined as they sit together. 

Jack concludes all of these people in the woods are dead, and that the girls running the diner rounded these people up for a romantic evening. They plan to do no harm to anyone. 

He leaves the couples alone to be happy in Swansea.


	9. Jill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secondary school teachers AU: Clara warns Me about a bully named Jill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
>  
> 
> [For Fic Promptly: prompt was "Author's choice, author's choice, first day of school."](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/120531.html?thread=5758163#cmt5758163)

"So you're the new history teacher here," Clara said as Me walked into her classroom before the start of the day.

"And I'm going to teach judo just like you."

"Watch out for Jill."

"Jill?"

"She has big red hair in ponytails. You won't miss her."

"What's wrong with Jill?"

"She's a bully. She uses whatever judo moves she knows to pressure people into doing her homework."

"Why are her judo skills limited?"

"She's a yellow belt. She refuses to improve her technique in class."

Me cracked her knuckles. "She hasn't met me yet, Clara. I'll take care of her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a sneaky anachronistic reference to _Grange Hill_ in this piece. I couldn't resist.


	10. Lady Oswald and Lady Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Historical AU: Me and Clara as ladies and highwaymen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
>  
> 
> [For a remainder week at Femslash Ficlets; prompt was Xena episode titles (used here: "The Royal Couple of Thieves")](http://femslashficlets.dreamwidth.org/59349.html)

By day, they were Lady Oswald and Lady Me. They posed as members of the nobility to get into the homes of the nobility. When no one was watching, they'd go around the house, listening to servants talk about when their masters were going to leave for places elsewhere.

By night, they were the Enigma and the Knightmare. They robbed the members of the nobility they spied on. They always managed to leave conveniently before their hosts so they could stop them in the dead of night, pistols drawn, taking their money and valuables. No one knew it was them.


	11. Winnifred Clarence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Witch AU (in which a Carrionite is known as a witch in canon): Winnifred Clarence saves Ashildr's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "Doctor Who, Clara, one of her many many lives was an accused witch (or a Carronite, which ever you prefer)."](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/214491.html?thread=8950235#cmt8950235)
> 
> For this (revised) drabble, I decided to call Ashildr "Ash," inspired by _The Legends of Ashildr_ story "The Fortunate Isles."

The Carrionites swarmed the Globe Theatre as _Love's Labour Won_ was being performed. Ash was in the audience as it happened.

A woman who sounded like she was from north of London grabbed Ash's hand and said, "Come on!"

The woman took Ash behind the Globe's staircase.

"Who are you?" Ash asked.

"Winnifred Clarence," the woman said. "Trust me, you'll see me again."

Winnifred flew up into the air. Ash didn't understand until later, but Winnifred was a Carrionite and the only one opposed to their plans.

Ash hoped Winnifred's words were true. She wanted to see Winnifred Clarence again.


	12. Häagen-Dazs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domestic AU: Clara and Me go shopping for ice cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
>  
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "Any, Any, negotiations in re: which flavor of ice cream to bring home."](https://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/212124.html?thread=13145500#cmt13145500)

Clara took out two pints of Häagen-Dazs ice cream from the ice cream freezer. "Okay, so we've decided on either cookies and cream or cookie dough chip. Which one do you want?"

"Cookie dough chip," Me said.

"No, you were supposed to say 'cookies and cream.'"

"You know how impossible it is for two people to decide by committee on what flavour ice cream they want to buy. What should we do? Buy both flavours?"

"No." Clara handed Me the two pints. She grabbed two different pints of Häagen-Dazs. "We get and buy _all_ the cookie flavours."

Me nodded.


	13. Flavia Tachen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Pacific Rim_ AU: Clara and Me drift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
>  
> 
> [For Fic Promptly.](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/293182.html?thread=10809662#cmt10809662)

The Pons were on their heads. Their spines were clamped to their Jaeger, the Flavia Tachen. The relay gel was filling up in their helmets. Nyssa, the LOCCENT Officer responsible for Jaegers in the Companion Defence Corps, started Flavia Tachen's neural handshake. Clara and Me were about to drift. Their shared memories started to come back to them. 

Their first memory was when they first met each other. The Doctor, Clara's former co-pilot, and Clara saved Me's life from the Kaiju known as Odin and the Mire. (The Doctor went too far and saved Me from dying, and never dying again. Me never forgave the Doctor for this.) 

They remembered when the Doctor left his Shatterdome base. He feared that, with Clara, they were doing too much harm on Earth than good. Before he left the Shatterdome, he found Me and left her there. He knew she always wanted to pilot a Jaeger. He had denied her a chance to pilot the Jaeger for so long. With him leaving, Me finally had her chance. 

They remembered practicing Judo in the combat room. Clara had more experience than Me--she used to be a Judo teacher--but because of their Drifting experiences, they both became proficient in the martial art. 

Nyssa announced that their neural handshake was strong. Clara, the lead pilot and right brain of the Jaeger, raised the Flavia Tachen's right arm. Me raised the Jaeger's left arm. 

Me and Clara were now ready to kick some Kaiju arse.


	14. Battle of the Bands Beyond Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Musician AU: Me and Clara are forced to play on _Battle of the Bands Beyond Stars._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> Based on the end comics found in the current Titan Comics run of Twelfth Doctor comics.
> 
> [For Femslash Ficlets, challenge #041, interrupt,](http://femslashficlets.dreamwidth.org/60070.html) changed from the original fill.

There were only two ways to exit _Battle of the Bands Beyond Stars:_ impress the viewers or be killed.

A misadventure found Clara and Me sentenced to be on the show. They could only perform with a drum set and a microphone.

"I'll take the drums," Me said.

"Do you know how to play them?"

"Of course I do, Clara."

"Wait. I've got a plan. Maybe we don't have to perform after all."

Me went to the drums while Clara stepped up to to the microphone. Clara tapped the microphone. "Hello? This thing on?" She tapped the microphone again. "I'm going to check this microphone." Clara went backstage. 

Me was about to play the drums when all the lights went out in the _Battle of the Bands Beyond Stars_ studio. Clara grabbed her hand.

"What happened?"

Clara pulled out a sonic screwdriver. "I turned off the lights. Now let's go."


	15. Cup-Bearers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greek myth AU: Me and Clara are the new cup-bearers of the Greek gods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
>  
> 
> [For a remainder challenge at Femslash Ficlets; prompt was #035, fantasy.](http://femslashficlets.dreamwidth.org/57914.html)

Any time a Greek god needs ambrosia or nectar, they don't have to go to Mount Olympus to get it. They call Clara and Me.

The gods wanted only one of them to be the cup-bearer of Mount Olympus, but they insisted they work together or the gods wouldn't have their services at all. The gods agreed.

All a god has to do is make a signal for Clara and Me to receive. Then they fly their diner to wherever the god is. The god walks in the diner, sits by the counter, and gets their ambrosia or nectar. Easy.


	16. The Girl Next Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neighbors AU: Ashildr investigates the diner next door to her village.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "Author's choice, author's choice, The Girl Next Door (Supernatural)."](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/353857.html?thread=12855617#cmt12855617)

The new building next door to Ashildr's Viking village had letters and words she couldn't understand. But Ashildr decided to venture inside the new building.

Inside she found a woman working around what appeared to be a table. The woman was verbally cursing how the table-like contraction wasn't working to her liking. To Ashildr's bewilderment, she was able to understand this woman, as if the woman knew how to speak her language. But she was sure this woman didn't understand the language.

Ashildr asked the woman if she needed some help. The woman, named Clara, was surprised, but she agreed.


	17. Excerpt from Melody Malone and the Flatiron Diamonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Detective AU: Melody Malone gets help when she falls off the Flatiron Building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> Written in first person.
> 
>  
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "author's choice, author's choice, what happens after the fall."](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/53500.html?thread=2273532#cmt2273532)

In that one moment, I found the man who stole my client's diamonds.

The next thing I knew I was pushed off the ledge of the Flatiron Building.

Had I not fallen in love with a sentimental idiot, I might've been fine with falling, because I'd be confident that I'd survive this fall. But now? There was no way out of this one. Or so I thought.

The next thing I knew, I was in a swimming pool.

When my head came out of the swimming pool, I saw two women holding hands and looking at me. One of them had her brown hair tied back in a ponytail. "Heard you needed a TARDIS," the woman in the ponytail said. She sounded like she was from Northern England.

"We like to help out the Doctor's friends," the other woman said. She wasn't from England, but I could understand her words.

"How do you know the Doctor? How do you know me?" I asked.

"It's a long story. My name is Clara, by the way," the woman in the ponytail said. "And this is Me."

"Hello, Melody," Me said. (She said my _other_ name. But I'm still keeping that name a secret. A girl needs her many aliases, you know.)

"How'd you get this TARDIS?" I asked.

Clara nodded. "It's part of my long story."

"Thank you for saving my life, Clara and Me. But let's get one thing straight." I pointed at Clara and Me. "I'm _not_ the Doctor's friend."


	18. Escape from the Bastille

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prison AU: Clara and Me escape the Bastille.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "Any, any, "All for one, you say? Ha! That nonsense will see you rot in the Bastille." (the tagline for the game Cabinet Noir)"](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/264171.html?thread=9930475#cmt9930475)

Louis XIV thought Me was a spy. Clara tried to protest on her behalf. But Louis XIV thought Clara was a spy because she defended Me. As a result, the two were thrown in the Bastille together. 

They heard whispers about escaping the prison by tying together threads from clothing to the logs they were given for their fireplace. It had been done before, but it took the cellmates six years to finish the rope. 

Clara and Me weren't exactly human. They could work faster than the other cellmates. It took Clara and Me only a few days to gather items for and finish their clothing thread rope, all while hiding the rope from guards. They also monitored when their cell was being monitored by the prison guards. 

When the rope was finished, Clara dangled the rope down their window in the Bastille. By sunrise, Clara and Me were gone.


	19. Queen of Competence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Royalty AU: The Knightmare robs Queen Clara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For Fic Promptly: prompt was "author's choice, author's choice, Her, the only game in town, a queen of competence."](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/229898.html?thread=9319690#cmt9319690)

Queen Clara, aside from being a visiting queen to England, was a queen of competence--in this case, sitting on a lot of money. Lady Me knew this by having tea with Queen Clara. Now she was going to rob her.

The Knightmare stood in Queen Clara's path, pistols drawn. Robbing Clara was easy. The Knightmare took jewels from Clara's trunk and the pearls she was wearing around her neck before letting her coachman and her go along their way.

The next day, Lady Me would "find" the stolen jewels and return them to Clara, just to see her again.


	20. The Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex worker AU: Clara's best client has a special box.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Teen
> 
> Inspired by the _Belle Du Jour_ movie.
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "author's choice, author's choice, paying for sex (either hooker!AU or with unnamed OC)".](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/271017.html?thread=10096553#cmt10096553)

The drug Clara was forced to take made her think she was a call girl in Paris. Her call girl name was "the Impossible Girl"--in French, of course. 

Three people wanted to pay for her services. Clara didn't know the other two people, but she knew Me. Me paid the most for her services. The other bidders were intimidated by Me's unknown box. Clara took Me into her room and shut the door. 

The next thing Clara remembered was writhing around in bed in her underwear, as if there was something pleasurable in Me's box. But Me was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After Clara is drugged, the rest is a dream sequence. There's dream sex, but not actual drugged penetration.


	21. Space Pirates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Space pirates AU for the "Space AU" prompt: Clara and Me as space pirates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For Fic Promptly.](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/196801.html?thread=8413377#cmt8413377)

A TARDIS stuck in the form of a diner was a strange vessel for a couple of space pirates to have. But that was what Clara and Me were left with when they stole that TARDIS years ago. 

Their targets were mostly starliners. Clara and Me's TARDIS materialised in the cargo holds of these starliners, allowing them to rob various containers in the cargo holds until authorities on the starliners could attempt to catch them. They were able to get back in their TARDIS before they were caught. 

Even if they mostly had junk, at least they had each other.


	22. A Big Debt, A Small Kick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sports AU: Clara and Me are forced to play rugby on a sporting planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "Any, Any, "A Big Debt × And × A Small Kick" (Hunter x Hunter [2011])."](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/353857.html?thread=11984705#cmt11984705)

Clara and Me were forced to play rugby on a sporting planet. Since Clara had experience playing rugby, she opted to be the coach of a rugby team. Me opted to play for Clara's team.

To escape the planet, Clara and Me had to beat the locals. There was only a minute left in the match. The score was eighteen all.

Clara screamed for Me to take a drop goal.

Me lined up the ball. She was able to kick the drop goal.

After the game, Clara kissed and said to Me "I owe you. With what, I don't know."


	23. Looking For Professor Heur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Espionage AU: Me and Clara are forced to work for the Celestial Investigation Agency.

"I hate that the Celestial Investigation Agency is forcing us to change the course of this party." Me grabbed her clutch, trying to mask her anger.

"Yeah, but the CIA's going to take our TARDIS for good if we don't go through with this." Clara adjusted her dress. "Do you remember what we have to do?"

"Find a Professor Heur, make sure he doesn't get killed by a laser, and have him operate this dimension-hopping device. The CIA will escort him to Earth."

Clara sighed. "I hate doing this."

"Me too."

The two of them stepped inside Professor Heur's party.


	24. Clara and Me's Coffee House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steampunk AU: One of Convent Garden's most popular coffee houses is very unusual for the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For Fic Promptly: prompt was "Any fandom, any, seemingly mundane AU (coffee shop, high school, etc.) that turns out to be stranger or more sinister than it seems on the surface."](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/260799.html?thread=9895615#cmt9895615) Here, I combined steampunk with a coffeehouse AU with canon factoids added in.

Clara and Me's Coffee House was one of Convent Garden's most popular coffee houses. Patrons were amazed to see bags of coffee beans seemingly falling from the ceiling into huge pots to be roasted. The roasted beans were poured into coffee grinders. Then, with the pull of a small lever, a small amount of coffee could be brewed in a cup. 

The patrons were usually tourists, people from as far away from Coventry and Bath to Argolis and Florana. 

Even the coffee house was a visitor. Every so often, the coffee house would materialise away, only to reappear without warning.


	25. Defend the Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Superhero AU: Clara and Me as superheroes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For dw100: prompt was "hero."](http://dw100.livejournal.com/801105.html)

Clara was dead. But she was brought back to life, in a way. She now had the abilities of a ghost; she could appear and disappear at will and move things around with telekinesis. 

Me almost died. But she was made immortal. She'd be in pain for a while if something injured her, though. 

Once they got together, they put their abilities to good use. They weren't UNIT or Torchwood, but sometimes, they were able to defend the Earth. 

Their powers allowed them to short-circuit Cybermen and smash Daleks. 

There was only one thing: they couldn't always stay on Earth.


	26. Life After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara and Me escape a hellish freak show. (Fusion with _American Horror Story: Freak Show._ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "Author's choice, author's choice, We were sure we'd never see an end to it all - Smashing Pumpkins, 1979"](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/187865.html?thread=8106201#cmt8106201)

Things were bleak when Missy took over the freak show. Left and right, all of Clara and Me's friends were dying because of Missy. But Clara and Me managed to trap her. She managed to escape before Clara and Me could take revenge on her.

Knowing they were free of Missy and her freak show, Clara and Me found a diner. Sometimes the diner was used as a diner. Most of the time, though, they used the diner to travel through time and space.

They made sure to watch Elsa Mars' Halloween special before they left Earth for good, though.


	27. A Time to Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vampire AU: Clara saves Me from turning into a vampire for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Teen
> 
> [For Fic Promptly.](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/2015/06/01/mondaty-june-2-2015-book-titles.html?thread=11830303#cmt11830303)

Clara found Me as she was dying from a vampire's bite. Soon after she turned into a vampire, Clara knew exactly what she needed to do, to keep Me from craving blood forever: kill the vampire that turned her.

There were only two ways of killing a vampire: stab it in the heart or decapitate it. Clara owned an executioner's sword from her travels. Although the sword was heavy, Clara was able to catch up to the vampire that was turning Me.

One swing of the sword and the vampire's head was gone.

Me returned to normal. Clara was relieved.


	28. Once In a Blue Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Werewolf AU: Sometimes Clara is a werewolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Teen 
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "author's choice, author's choice, blue moon."](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/6161.html?thread=394257#cmt394257)

When Clara was alive, she was attacked by a werewolf. The Doctor was able to heal her from the werewolf bite and get rid of most of the werewolf virus in her system. But some of the werewolf virus remained inside of Clara.

Once in a blue moon, when she was around a full moon, Clara would turn into a werewolf. When the transformation started, she would be locked inside the TARDIS, as to not harm anyone in her way.

Me would let Clara stay a werewolf for a while. She thought Clara was very sexy in her lupine form.


	29. The Masked Bandit of Cochise County, Arizona

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Western AU: A bandit and a "saloon" in Cochise County, Arizona, during the Wild West.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For Fic Promptly.](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/381713.html?thread=12579089#cmt12579089)

A stagecoach was moving through the southern part of Cochise County, Arizona, in 1878. A masked bandit and their horse caught up to the stagecoach and held it up before it could get to Benson, Arizona. 

The masked bandit said nothing to the occupants and driver of the stagecoach as they robbed their trunk and took the occupants' jewellery. The bandit rode off towards Tombstone, Arizona. 

The bandit walked into what was believed to be a saloon, greeting a woman with their loot. The saloon mysteriously disappeared after that. The bandit did leave their horse in Tombstone before disappearing, however.


	30. Gallifrey's Hunger Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunger Games AU: Clara helps out Ashildr in Gallifrey's Hunger Games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences
> 
> [For Fic Promptly; prompt was "Doctor Who, author's choice, the power of gold."](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/135011.html?thread=6320227#cmt6320227)

It was hard to kill Me. That didn't mean those involved in Gallifrey's Hunger Games didn't stop trying.

Me was wounded after a Cyberman from Mondas shot her. She retreated to a tree while that Cyberman and another were after her.

The two Mondas Cybermen were about to attack Me again when the two of them collapsed. Out of nowhere Clara stopped the two Cybermen with a gold badge.

Clara ran to Me. "We need to hide while you heal up. Then after that, how about we take apart those two Daleks?"

Clara grinned. "I'd love to do that, Clara."


End file.
